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听了这首我最爱的马来歌曲。有点悲伤。

几年前，我曾经爱过一位马来女生。可是我们都知道，这是不会有结果的爱情。

如今，她要嫁人了。献上我的祝福。

而我，还在老远地继续听这首歌...

救命

我开始怀疑，我到底是选对了还是错了。

我知道，我变笨了，我变得有点迟钝。 是的，德国教育系统把我搞垮了。

而且近来一直多病在身。 是时候寻找回我自己。

四年前的我，和现在的我差很多。以前那豪放，浪漫主义及不顾一切为一个女人牺牲的我，他去了哪儿？为什么我变得“不能再爱”一个人。我不想成熟，它已经把我搞得我不像我。

那个曾经会爱的我，他还在吗？

我的无道德那一面，我很想念他。我要解放我自己。我要复古！

Mechanics

"What are you doing now Wu?"

"Ah, Kehr my boy, well I just wrote down my formulation of mechanics."

"Sorry sir, I ...."

"Oh sorry, well mechanics is the branch of physics, where we deal with the motion, and of course the cause of the movement. Well I am trying to reformulate the whole mechanics' principle. This is in fact something revolutionary, and ha, I think it is also ahead of my contemporary."

"Well can you show me? I will try to understand it.."

"Well you see, the old fashion way of seeing the nature of motion is limited, everything is governed by the force equation. F=ma. Mass times acceleration. Simple and elegant, it was, but until when you have lots of system to be considered. Like for instance, we would like to take three candy and throw them around, and see how they react."

"Candies can react among each other?"

"Well sort of bad example is it not? Ha, well remember this, a new way of looking into difficult question, the least action principle. It makes everything look easy. All you need is the kinetic energy minus the potential energy of the body that you want to observe. Voila, the equation of motion comes from a simple derivative."

"I think I am lost, but yes I do believe if we have the least action principle, we should get something simple in nature, is it not? Like the fastest way to go along the street is "to move along it", straight and no deviation."

"Brilliant, as simple as that, but do remember, the simple geometry that you believe as intuition is sometimes not correct. A plane is not a plane anymore when we view from "outside", right?"

"Like looking at a piece of paper from our eyes?"

"Ha Ha, indeed. Fold the paper and you have the zero distance."

Good Night

"Sometimes, love is so strange, ain't?"

"Maybe it is useless to capture this feeling. I mean it is not permanent, you know? How can a man certain of self? For present is just an illusion. All love would means the past, or the death? Something that only exist in one's mind?"

"Interesting, tell me more."

"Just like a chocolate, you hold it, it melts, you eat it, it just last a few seconds in mouth. It is just a temporary excitement that pleases your lonely soul. And you can't reproduce the same chocolate anymore. But we do love chocolate, don't we?"

"Yes indeed... Thanks Jen, it really means a lot to me."

It might be short, it might be fruitless, but I will try everyday, that I will love her more and more. Maybe the chocolate tastes different, but to me, it is always unique.

I strolled across the bridge. Ah the lovely music, played by the local street artist, I gathered around them, just want to let my mind rest for a few second. Run, you are free now. Let me be a mindless man, for a while.

Good night, Kehr.

Happy Birthday Mone

Finally, days and nights, working, serving and being yelled from this and that. I had enough money to buy a pearl necklace for Mone. Besides, the Merchant from Meer had already set up their stall in the market. Need to wake up tomorrow morning early to choose a good one, which I hope has a sapphire glowing ornament in the middle, since blue is Mone's favourite.

Arrived at the stall, seems I still have lots of selection. Oh just found one, perfect shape, with the symbol of Chalek, true love. And most important, sapphire blue! The cost is dearly, swooping up all my entire salary, tips inclusive. But for Mone's smile, priceless. Meer's product is unique, there is no substitute for their craftsmanship, as every necklace, ring and charm is uniquely symbolizing something. Arts with soul, so to speak.

As I walked home, something ridiculous happened. Roadblock from the local police has piled up and as the local fucking rule, I have to pay my way to access to our living community, and there are no alternatives, of course I can crawl up the wall and jump from house to house. Bad Idea, as I am not a trained assassins. Sometimes I noticed why our area is getting more and more ghetto-like, it would seems, when they want to purge us, the lowest and the poorest class, they can easily set fire and block the whole entrance, forcing us to board the ship to escape or jump to the sea, killing us or deporting us. I had nightmares on such a horrible scene, and I prayed it will not happen. As I already spent all my money on the necklace and there is no way I could chunk out more gold for the corrupted bastard.

" Sir, I live here and I have to get home early, could you let me pass? Please?"

"Lad, yea know d' rule, pay up and yea may pass."

We started quarreling due to his hot tempered attitude and by all sudden I received a knuckle blow on my face, fell on the ground immediately. Bad thing happened, but why today? The necklace fell from my pocket, and of course the shining glimpse caught instantaneously the eyes of that bastard.

"Beautiful one, I'll take it, and fuck yea'self off before I hit yea again."

"Give it to me, that is not mine, it belongs to a good friend of mine, please... I beg you.."

"Well looks like we hav' another punching job to do, fist up, boys."

"You can punch me but please return the necklace to me, please..." I remembered my eyes were wet.

In the end I ended up being a practice punch bag for those bastards, I could not remember how many blows that I have to endure just to tired their fist, but I guess they did not enjoyed kicking and hitting a wooden me, I did not scream, all the pain that I suffered was that I don't have gift for Mone today, an important day.


As I entered her house, it was quite late and everyone has gone home. She was there, cleaning the dishes alone.

"Mone..."

"Where have you been? We were waiting for you.....oh Lord, what happened to you? Your face...you are bleeding.... wait I will go get some medicament."

"I was blocked by the police, and I had nothing to buy my way inside, so they hit me... it is nothing really, just some bruises. Will get better in a couple of days."

"Just wait for me, I will go get...."

"Listen.... I did not managed to get you anything but.... just want to wish you happy birthday. Never mind about the medicament, Mr.Lowe has of course some for disposable... Night Mone"

I love you. My heart said.

I remembered the night was cold, very windy. I don't need the wind as a comfort. As far as I concerned, I just want to get the necklace back, funny, which exactly took me seven years.

Someone Moving In

A new family moved into our neighborhood two days ago, surprisingly opening along a new confectionery just opposite my house.

I went by the shop, try to take a glimpse on the delicacies inside. To my surprise I was spotted by the owner, Wu and his wife Jen, I was invited to taste some sweets and cakes, albeit that money is not something I had.

Inside is amazing, like a house made from candy. Apparently they just moved in, from the neighboring Dai. Jen is passionate in sharing her recipe with me, despite that I lack of cooking talent. Wu looks thirty some, with a wise look on the face and an aristocratic manner. It is nice to talk to him, although I had no idea on what is he explaining about. The planetary system? The origin of man and wolves? The Plane in our world? Interesting, I never doubted his knowledge though.

" So are you a scholar? You seems to know a lot of thing besides chocolate." I joked.

" In fact..... I was, sometime ago... A very long story. Let just say that the authority did not like someone like me running around in their country. "

So they were exiled. But why? How could a country deport someone as intelligent like Wu to our crappy land. Sometimes I wondered, one's fascinating point of view might angered the man above. Seems like people prefer praise than critique, blinded with the need to oil their ears, rather than a rough jiggling near. If you don't want to listen something good, just cut the ear right?

Anyway, the carrot cheese cake made by Jen is amazing, with thick layer of cheese yet not fatty.
Since then, I visited their shop every weekend. A piece of carrot cheese is a wonderful end for the stress working day. Chatting with Wu about the scientific stuff is just wonderful, makes me want to trap the nature in their pure reasoning framework.

Thank you Jen and Wu, for bringing the best piece of life to me.

A Beautiful Day

A Beautiful Day

Being in a tropical country, we have no experience of cold and hot, but rather, just warm. I woke up in the morning, look outside the window, see the meadow gold, the sun reflects the light on the grassy field. And just on the far side, How beautiful to see two suns lining against each other. Just look at the horizon, it is endless, nobody knows what lies beyond it. So amazing, wish could see the whole land of Lord.

Went out to take my breakfast in a local stall, just near the market. Ah the dusk and the whispering wind, they match perfectly. I sat down on the chair, old wooden chair, ordered my favorites coconut rice, oh yes, they taste very good, just the aroma could tempt your hunger. The hawker, Mr. and Mrs. Fan, a very loving couple, have been preparing the most delicious coconut rice for almost twenty years now. They seems happy in serving the customers, yes they are happy, maybe because when you work together with your loves one, can't feel any loneliness. A nice place to enjoy the wonderful morning,so called the Second-street stall.

I left for the excursion, just want to spend a good day. Yes a good day. Mone, Yang, Faiz, Linn and I up the hill, the Jrai hill. Legend said the hill was formed when the widow of Jrai weep for her son's death. The tears were so strong, until it eroded parts of the land, thus came the Jrai hill. Up its waist, looking down at the scenery, amazing paddy field, each grid is perfectly divided. Beyond that, Mount of Dai, a big mountain across the border of Bodoh and Dai. Ever since the close policy introduced by the Bodoh parliament, we are not allowed to travel aboard anymore. Well let us not spoil the fun of the day, the day was meant to be beautiful.

We set up the camps, collected the firewood for the night. Oh yes, the view is so perfect, just like painted in one of the royal family. Those artist, how they could brushed and stroked the plain paper into something colourful, vivid, and class. Mone was lively, playful and young, we all were young. I just wish I am the artist, painting this sweet memory into my mind, never fade away. Yang is my best buddy since I am here, a respected person, passionate, brotherhood is his principle. Like my true brother. He is the one who organized such a wonderful trip for the day. Faiz, the gentle big fellow, shy as always, but a true friend, a great buddy to have. Linn on the other hand, was a open-minded person, speaks out and never hide her feeling. Not many people like her due to his unorthodox manner, but we are good friends to her, because she has no mask beneath. I knew them since I was drifted to this country. Among us, only Yang and I are none native. But I guess in those age, we are no different, just pure, just friends, just love.

The dawn, the time everyone waits for. Golden sunset, the sun touching the tip of the world again. We set up a small fire, We watch across the sea, looking at the Mount of Dai, between the cliff, a mystery upon us, shaded by fog, never seen with our bare eyes, how the place looks like. Just cliff, with statues stone carved along it. Masterpiece of sculpture, full with legend of Deva. How the deities formed the world as we known.

Mone, looked a bit tired, suddenly her head on my shoulder, How romantic it is. And I am the idiot one who did nothing. I just hold my breath, never moved, just still, so that she would not wake up from my sweet dream. At that time, I just forget all the problem we have here, no more hatred from the people. Just love, something sweet for the day, a beautiful day.